Getting Better

Remember the Beatles' song 'Getting Better' from Sgt. Pepper?
After McCartney's bouncy "It's getting better all the time!" an acerbic Lennon intones "Can't get no worse..." I've always thought that one snippet of song sums up the Lennon-McCartney duality perfectly.

It also sums up my optimism vs. the harsh reality of trying to find the right partner. My Saturday night date and I were about as compatible as peas and Hershey's syrup.

While we did manage two hours or so of reasonably interesting conversation he had no sense of humor whatsoever. Not only was he incapable of producing humor, he was incapable of understanding it.

Follow me, if you will: The setting is a downtown Seattle Indian restaurant (which I had to select because Captain Lameass couldn't generate a single idea). The characters: An earnest, witty, reasonably cute middle-aged blonde woman and a dull, graying, retired journalist. Make that a dull, graying, retired journalist with long-nailed, tiny baby hands (yes,I'm shuddering too). The dialogue:

Me: I went to an Indian restaurant once and my friend asked the waitress why there were no beef dishes on the menu. The waitress said "Holy cow!"

Ok, you get that right? Of course you do. Cows are sacred in India...

Him: Moronic blank stare.

Me: (glancing at watch) "Ok! Ha ha..."

I asked him if he'd like to try my entree. He ate half of it, and didn't ask me if I'd like to try his (I don't eat lamb but that's not the point...). Then when the check came I politely offered to pay half. Most men act mildly insulted when I offer. He said "I would LOVE that."

Ugh.

I had taken the bus from Tacoma, and told C.L. (Captain Lameass, lest you've forgotten) that I needed to find Cherry St. to catch the bus home. To his credit he drove me the three blocks to the bus stop. As we approached Cherry Street he said he wasn't in a hurry... just then a bus approached the stop. I flung open the car door. "OHLOOKTHERESMYBUSTHANKSBYE". I ran across the street like a 19 year old Olympic athlete. Had I been required to jump hurdles I could and would have.

It can only get better. It can't get much worse.