The Unicorn Flu

Overheard by brusque, manly-man type: "I'm not feeling good. Maybe I got the pig flu."

Sorry to hear it manly man, but pig flu? Eww.

Not to hog (wha ha) too much space with this, but here's another non-kosher snippet:

Coworker #1: My boyfriend is home sick with the flu
Coworker #2: "Oh no. Regular or....oink oink?"

"Regular or oink oink?" Don't get me started on how many ways that is not an ok sentence. Not ok. Soooo not ok, Ugh! . Ok, I'll get over it.
In a few years. I hope.

Let's face it, Swine flu is simply a disgusting name for a disease. And while -to it's credit- it may not conjure nasty, rabid hog-like imagery, H1N1 doesn't exactly trip lightly off the tongue.

Enough Swine flu. Enough H1N1. More than enough (even though it was only one instance "Oink o... No, I'm not even going to finish that one.

I hereby propose a new name: The Unicorn flu.

If one is fortunate enough to contract Unicorn flu, gentle white mythical steeds with gossamer wings will transport them through rainbow-filled skies to utopian destinations. Where everyone is healthy. And no one says "Regular or..?"

Unicorn flu.

Admit it. It's better.