The Funniest Word in the World

If you are under ridiculous pressure as a team to 'make your numbers', if you have a tribal elder amidst you who tells decades worth of vivid anecdotes, if said tribal elder has sufficient comedic talent to spin simple menu items into hilarity, then the funniest word on earth is...

Fudgana.

With proper feinged innocence, Fudgana can make bystanders in coffee shop lines snicker, serious coworkers double over in "He he he!" laughter, and young, platinum blonde, tell-it-like-it-is types proclaim "Oh my God...that sounds like vagina."

I didn't make up the word. That honor goes to Howard Johnson's, they of 28 flavors fame. All you can eat fried clams on Wednesday? Orange and turquoise exterior? Yes, that Howard Johnson's.

A Fudgana was a banana split-like concoction, best consumed at 2 am in the late 70s, preferably after a midnight movie like The Song Remains the Same. State of consciousness is probably a given here. I always had my Fudgana with coffee fudge ice cream. Fudganas were huge (cue more paroxyms of laughter from coworkers). I think they contained four scoops of ice cream in addition to bananas, hot fudge, and whipped cream.

I miss those carefree days. Ok, I'm lying. I've never been carefree. I do, however, have happy memories of Howard Johnson's on Miami's Dixie Highway. When I travel back I can see the setting perfectly: the various combinations of friends, the spinning condiment caddy with fluorescent yellow mustard, the paper placemats, the long L-shaped counter visible from my place in the booth. And yes, of course I can not only see the Fudgana, I can actively miss it, causing me to earnestly proclaim that I want one.

I forgive you if that doesn't seem funny.