Welcome to My Nightmare

I rarely remember my dreams. This means I may be missing out on some great stuff like these gems from last night:


Dream #1: I have painted my living room Pepto Bismol pink and accented it with large tropical fish decals from Target. I walk in the door and try to convince myself its cute.


Dream #2: I have a date with Alice Cooper. He walks in wearing a yellow shirt. I hug him. He tells me I have a small piece of gum on my lower lip. I don't question this. Instead, I go to sleep on the living room couch while someone cooks him a steak. When I wake up he's gone. Alice Cooper, why did you leave?


I think Alice Cooper's Welcome to My Nightmare album is phenomenal. I used that word a few weeks ago to describe a bag of yogurt pretzels I'd gotten from a vending machine. My use of the word phenomenal in both cases is deliberate and sincere.