THERE IS NOTHING CLEVER ABOUT BACON

You are not special, whimsical, delightfully irreverant, or dashingly rogue because you love bacon. Bacon jelly beans, National Bacon Day, and bacon shaving cream do not in any way increase your likeability.

Sorry to be the one to have to tell you.

Laser Shows

In the 80s and 90s I went to a lot of laser shows. Laser Dark Side of The Moon, Laser Stones, Laser Rush, to name a very few. I haven't thought much about them in recent years. Tonight I did, and the longing I felt almost brought me to tears (Yes, really. What do you think you're reading here, a political blog?)Those shows were wonderful in an all-encompasing, completely enveloping way.

The earliest laser shows I went to were at the Miami Planetarium. I lived and worked close by, so I felt no remorse in going to Laser Rush not just a second time, but a third. This was in 1984. I wasn't a Rush fan at the time. I didn't get Geddy Lee's voice then. But as the loud music filled my ears and beautiful patterns danced across the domed 'sky' I was more settled, more content than I'd ever been.

The shows started with the room going dark and then pitch black, revealing a perfect night sky of twinkling stars. In that moment I felt home. No, that's too trite. All I can say is it was a soul-satisfying experience.

Laser shows were 90 minutes of pure heaven- except for one Laser Zeppelin show when a near riot erupted over warring factions of "STAIRWAY!!!" and "SHUT THE F UP!!", but never mind.

In the world I'd like to live in, there would be laseriums with movie theater hours. One could choose from a variety of laser shows any day of the week.

I don't remember if I ever saw Laser Moody Blues, but that would be awesome. Laser Quadrophenia would be great too. And of course Laser Rush would be a must.

Then

Click on the collage to enlarge it.

Some people are going to squint at the photos - the ones of me in my early twenties- and go "OMG! Is that you?!"

Please don't do that in front of me.

Thanks.

Old Friends Weekend

Last weekend I reunited with two friends; one I've known since 1977, the other since 1992.

Let's start with the first one. Look at that number again, the one with the sevens in it. To state the obvious, that was a long time ago. No personal computers. Eight dollar concert tickets. Seventeen year old me.

Seeing friends from decades ago activates a dredging process. Once in a while something upleasant is exhumed. Something stupid that you forgot for a reason.
And then there's the really random things you remember that you had forgotten for 30 years but can summon again in an instant. "Yes, I remember her! The one who used to smoke pot for her menstrual cramps, right?" There's a lot of remembering how much fun you used to have.

In a post from 2009 I briefly described how I met Mike, but the memory has come back more vividly so here it is: I met Mike in May of 1977, at Crandon Park beach in Miami. At night. The beach AT NIGHT. Going to the beach AT NIGHT, in all its primordial, mystical, moonlit, warm-sand wonderfulness was a frequent pastime back then. Wistful sigh. If I remember right, I was there with my friend David M. I was...well, er...uninhibited (there we go) and walked up to a picnic table four guys were sitting on.I wanted to see if they had anything good to, er, talk about. Yeah. Talk about.

In my heart I also wanted to have an inappropriate encounter with an inappropriate man (perhaps that renders the encounter appropriate, but whatever). I fancied myself a wild and crazy girl; one who was eager to swim uncharted waters.

A roadie for a rock band would have fit the bill nicely. A long-haired, tattooed, not-Jewish, blue-collar worker would have sufficed too. Anything could have happened that night as I approached that table of men on the dark, desolate beach.

One of the men looked me in the eye.

and...

that's how I met Mike. Nice, intelligent, sensible Jewish Mike, who was home from MIT for the summer.

I mean, really.

Flash forward Thirty five years. Mike is married and has a successful career as a research physicist. He's still nice, intelligent, and sensible. I'm much more sensible and responsible than I was back then. Life is not as much fun now. Just being honest. It's not. But it was fun to see Mike again. We'd last seen each other in Denver around 1992, so we weren't jumping across quite so many decades, but still. It had been a long time.

I'm sometimes feel that I have a tenuous hold on life; like I have a fluctuating inventory of family and friends (yeah I know, boo hoo). Being connected with old friends like Mike and Nanice makes me feel more grounded. Big bonus that the chemistry with both was unchanged from the old days.

I really, really want to go to the beach at night.

Back then it was pure joy. Now it's a need.

Ok, here's exactly what I want: I want to be on the coast of Iceland at night in winter, with a cold wind blowing and ice near the shore. I want an insane display of northern lights; swift-flying swirls of manic electric green.

Let's throw in a bonfire and a Scandinavian husband and I'll be all set.

Autumn on Mars

First Fall leaves and a serious hue layer.

Fave Pic from Puyallup Fair

Water Aerobics

Welcome to My Nightmare

I rarely remember my dreams. This means I may be missing out on some great stuff like these gems from last night:


Dream #1: I have painted my living room Pepto Bismol pink and accented it with large tropical fish decals from Target. I walk in the door and try to convince myself its cute.


Dream #2: I have a date with Alice Cooper. He walks in wearing a yellow shirt. I hug him. He tells me I have a small piece of gum on my lower lip. I don't question this. Instead, I go to sleep on the living room couch while someone cooks him a steak. When I wake up he's gone. Alice Cooper, why did you leave?


I think Alice Cooper's Welcome to My Nightmare album is phenomenal. I used that word a few weeks ago to describe a bag of yogurt pretzels I'd gotten from a vending machine. My use of the word phenomenal in both cases is deliberate and sincere.

Strike

Bird Watching

Ok, so I got a little carried away.

Mid-Summer Renaissance Faire

Ren Faire- Gypsy Horse Show

Some Assembly Required

Launched

If you don't think this is a cool image I hate you. No, really. Although I am thinking of turning the rest of the background white to enhance the graphic effect. Edit 8/27: Actually, now that I look at it I don't think this is a very strong image. It's not bad, but I think what excited me about it originally, was that this was a photo of a man in a cherry picker washing the windows of a church. So the tsuanmi looking wave to the left is actually a church that's been put through the distort/ twirl filter. Church of the Twirly Jesus? Now we're talking.

I Do Live There- When I Can

Sometimes I work on stuff in Photoshop late at night, save the images, and forget about them (thanks Ambien!) I found the green one recently in my 'Neighborhood' folder. "I will live here" in the context of this photo simultaneously makes no sense at all and distills me to my essence. How very darling.

Koi Vey

Alter Ego

Today at the Wright Park Arboretum, surrounded by plants, I was drawn to the koi pond. I was gracious enough to move out of the way for passersby, but I was doing some serious shooting. I think my settings worked well: 1/2000, macro, and flash. I love this photo.

Abstract

I could play with Photoshop filters all day. Come to think of it, day time would be a great idea. I tend to do this kind of thing after midnight. I love abstract art. I once had a boyfriend who hated it. The walls of his home were hung with portraits. Paintings of strangers! Why would anyone want that? He thought my abstract prints were cold and impersonal. I didn't like the creepy people on his walls staring at me. We broke up because we were art incompatible. Yeah, that's it.

In Store

Goodwill store, to be specific.

Eye in the Sky

Toward the end of my afternoon shoot (I go for a walk with my Nikon almost every Sunday) there was a mighty flash in the sky. In less fantastical terms, the sun peeked through the clouds. I pointed my camera upwards and this is what I got. I can't decide if it's pretty or creepy. I'll settle for pretty creepy.

Luminous

Much Better

What's the Rush?

I want to write about my March Las Vegas trip. I want to write about my new-found fascination with the band Rush (52 year old woman discovers band beloved decades ago by 15 year old boys!). I'd also like to write about the book I'm writing but I'm tired and bored with myself.

Pink Nose

I think that's a smile

Bellagio Fountains

Also known as one of my favorite things on earth.

Girl Scout Cookies

I was apprehended outside of the grocery store last week by three happy, laughing and dancing Girl Scouts. They shone their adorable faces upon me and asked with gleeful hope if I'd like to buy some Girl Scout cookies. What was I supposed to say? "No, fuck off"?

True story: I opened the box of Tagalogs when I got home and ate one. Just one. It helped that I picked a flavor I don't like. I took the box into work the next morning. Amazing.

Wouldn't have been possible with Thin Mints.

Hiding

If in Finland

I would try

TurkishPepperWhirl

Of course I had to look this up. Turkish Pepper is actually a flavor of licorice candy- but I'm not sure that makes it less disgusting. A description I read said it tastes somewhat like Fisherman's Friend cough drops. I was offered a Fisherman's Friend drop in Sweden and promptly expressed my appreciation by saying "Aargh! Ewwww! Yuck!" then spitting it into a tissue. It tasted like black licorice to the tenth power. I don't think the Turkish Pepper Whirl is going to be coming to Dairy Queen anytime soon. But if in Finland- actually it's not if, it's when- I will try it.

Cosmic Nonsense

A long time ago- I'm not going to say how long ago because I saw a Family Guy episode recently where a 50 year old woman referred to a piece of furniture as a Davenport. I wasn't quite sure what a Davenport was (See! See!)and had to look it up, which I'm happy about. What I'm not happy about is referring back to things that happened a long, long time ago. I almost started this post with "Decades ago..." but I'm aware that to younger readers (I think I have two) I may as well be referring to FDR.

Earlier this week I sold a comforter set I'm no longer using to a nice couple. I had listed my number on Craigslist, and called back a woman who'd left a message. Her husband answered and said she was busy with something. Later in the conversation, feeling comfortable with me I suppose, he laughed (and laughed- he seemed to find it quite funny) that his wife had just gotten dentures and was putting them in. Umm, ok. We set up a time for them to come by.

I was expecting a nice, elderly couple. I pictured her in Koret, maybe purple polyester pants and a matching top with flower appliques. I answered the door to a slim, long-haired, attractive woman (wearing Chico's) and her tall, aging, but still had it going on retired cop husband. They'd been married 48 years. They were a sexy couple. Later I realized she was the denture lady. Strange this age thing.

Anyway, I was about to tell you about something that happened, yes, DECADES AGO. Way, way, before Photoshop. When we used somethings called darkrooms, and I spent hours in them sandwiching negatives in the enlarger, burning, dodging, using Marshall's Photo Oils, everything I could to make my visions come to life. Back then, way back then (early '80s), I put together a series of photos called Cosmic Nonsense. Now I'm starting a Photoshop version of Cosmic Nonsense, photos that are simply something to look at and to which ascribing meaning would be silly. Visual impact and mindless surrealism. Images that confuse the brain a little (it's good for you!)

Here's my first Photoshop one. I think it has some visual punch to it.

Look Carefully

You can see her eyes in the first 'N'...

Once I have this technique down I can move on to cheesy postcards. Think about it: More than half of all postcards spell out the name of the place and have pictures within the letters.

Twister

Working on this image in Photoshop, I had a memory of my grandmother playing Twister with my sister and me. I remember her with her foot on a green dot, reaching way across the mat to put her hand on a red dot. As she did so she laughed and said "I'm a grandmother!" She was a slim, beautiful, awesome grandmother. How cool is that, having a splice of memory from 1968, of playing Twister with your grandma?

Magic Kitty Ride

Does this look like a happy kitty on a magic bubble ride, or a precariously-perched feline about to plunge to the pavement? This is an image I'm including in my childrens' activity book project, so I'm seriously hoping for the former.

Watercolor

I opened my blinds the other morning and saw this fat rainbow over Vashon Island.

On Track

Filtered Rainbow

One of my Photoshop assignments this week was to apply three filters to a photo. I used the film grain, brush strokes / spatter, and smart sharpen filters on a photo I took a few years ago. I wanted to give it kind of an old oil painting feel. I think this turned out pretty cool.

Photoshopping Round the Stars

Anyone else remember Space Truckin' by Deep Purple? Space truckin' round the starrrrs...

I'm taking a Photoshop class and I love it. I've learned some indispensable skills like how to soften wrinkles on faces (Yep, tried it on one of my own photos in which I looked disturbingly 'mature'). I'm also doing lots of experimentation with surrealism because that's where I live.

I want to figure out how to add some stars to the 'night sky' I created compliments of the magic wand and paint bucket tools. I tried drawing in a UFO with the pen tool. It wasn't bad for a first try. A big yellow-ish full moon would be cool too. If anyone reading this speaks Photoshop I would love to hear from you.

I want to get good enough at Photoshop to create images so powerful they alter consciousness.

That, and how to use the warp tool to make myself look thinner.

Drake's conversation with his parents

Revel in the awesomeness of my articulate, 16 month old grandnephew.

I definitely heard him say "I said yes!"